be weightless. be mindless. be well.

Welcome to MindBoner.com, where mindlessness is wellnessness.
At Jarvistan Labs inc., we know that with the covid pandemic, global warming and the imminent collapse of our society as we know it, it is pretty hard to relax. So, we have created HypnoLounge3000™, an immersive sensory experience to put your mind at ease.

Forget ASMR, your will feel ASSMR deep down inside. That’s right, there is an extra S, and it stands for Autonomous SUPER Sensory Meridian Response.

Browse our catalogue of Sensual Sonic Stimulations to cure your isolation.
Now offering our custom guided meditations in more than 15 languages, including Klingon.

PL:UNGE into the Deep

Personal Lounge: Underwater Neurological Gamma Experience™ is an immersive wellness experience that combines our state-of-the-art relaxation technology with the therapeutic effects of being 2 miles underwater.

Experience the mind numbing effects of our new Gamma HypnoRays© from the comfort of our pastel aesthetic retrofuturistic HypnoHotel, nested on the south wing of the Jarvistan Labs secret evil ice cave of doom, off the coast of Antarctica.

This utopian underwater oasis is now accepting applications for test subjects to enjoy the first ever run of our PL:UNGE program.

Be honest. be true. be sexy. be you.

“Whenever the stress of being a billionaire gets to me, MindBoner.com is there to help me unplug my brain and stop thinking about all the people that my company exploits. I just play one of their HypnoLounge3000 tapes and sleep like a baby ”

– Rich Dude